Dear Vee,

My dear friend who has morphed into the older sister I never had.  You  requested that I write something on Inner Peace. After a feeble promise I must say that, I am now happy to oblige. Let me start by letting you know that I am no Guru Nanak nor a Zen master for that matter. I am also on my own journey to understanding what Inner Peace is all about. Is it really attainable or it’s just some modern day hype? What I am going to share are simply my personal views and the lightbulb moments I have had. Let us now try to make sense of it.

My sister, did you know that hurricanes and tornadoes are different weather phenomena by virtue of their origins? Hurricanes are formed over warm ocean waters and can travel inland while tornadoes are formed over the land. In this part of the world hurricanes are known as cyclones. These storms are made up of powerful swirling winds that can leave a trail of death and destruction in their wake.

The one feature I find fascinating about these occurrences is what is known as the eye of the storm. The swirling winds travel at great speed and produce a centre known as the eye which is a circular area whose diameter can range from 30-65km. Before the eye arrives there are powerful and destructive winds and heavy rains. The eye marks the only peaceful and calmest part of the storm and when it passes, the stormy winds and rains resume.

Vee, did you also know that initially storms were named after women? The system was later revised in the 1970s to include both female and male names. If naming is anything to go by, forces of destruction can be found on either side of the gender divide. Life also has a way of throwing us some curveballs. My dear sister, you and I know that we cannot go through life without experiencing storms. Some storms are hurricanes, major and destructive, they leave us wondering whether we will ever know peace. Some storms are simply brewed in teacups, all noise no substance but if allowed to, they can equally steal our peace. The question that begs for an answer is how do we get remain in the eye of the storm when so much noise surrounds us?

What Is Inner Peace?

Another dear friend of mine has a funny habit of abbreviating phrases when texting.  Initially I found it confusing, but now I get the gist. She taught me that peace of mind is POM!  Inner Peace , POM, they feel the same to me. Inner Peace according to experts refers to a “deliberate state of psychological or spiritual calm despite the potential presence of stressors”. POM, serenity and calmness describe a state of being free from stress. My dear, I believe that the attainment Inner Peace is a subjective experience and when your lightbulbs flash, that marks your state of consciousness.  

I have leant that the pursuit of peace is an ongoing and deliberate process. Peace will never fall on our laps like a gift or crash into us like an accident.

Cultivating Peace

“Nobody can bring you peace but yourself.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson

As Above And So Below

I have learnt that Inner Peace is not possible if we have not made peace with the Creator, God.  The knowledge that out there is a life force much bigger and more powerful than any one of us is awe inspiring. A strong relationship with God has a way of anchoring us. When the dark forces of death and destruction surround us we know we can find refuge in Him, who is the eye of the storm. And so my sister, let us always hold on to the hem of His garment in good and difficult times trusting that the storms that come our way, He will make them pass. May the peace above be the peace below.

As Within And So Without

Honour  Thyself: Inner  Peace also comes with being a peace with yourself, loving and appreciating yourself warts and all. It’s about celebrating our achievements no matter how small and taking our failures to be the lessons that they are. It also means banishing from our vocabulary the phrase, “If only”. It is full of comparisons, regret, self blame, self punishment, self pity, self loathing and bitterness. These are all ingredients of a victim mentality, where we believe that if we are not the centre of the universe or do not have everything we want, then life is unfair.

Be yourself:  It is only human to want validation from other people because it makes us feel worthy.  Peace eludes us when we start living for the world. For instance, we live in a technologically advanced world where our likability and worthiness are measured by the number of likes we get. We are so devastated if we do get not noticed and we keep on trying without end.  What do you know?  The very people we are trying to impress have also not got it figured out. The simple truth is that, not everyone is our fan or cheerleader. Remaining true to ourselves provides the fertile ground for  the cultivation of  Inner Peace.

Respect yourself and others: By holding fast to what we believe in can sometimes turn us into very unpopular persons, but then if we always go wherever the wind blows we will never know peace. We will be tossed about like debris in a destructive storm. Standing your ground can be a threat to those who hunger for control or those who want you live according to their dictates. However, as long as your values and attitudes are not infringing on other peoples’ freedoms, then walk towards peace.  

Free yourself: There are  people who believe that Inner Peace can be attained when they happen to be at the right place. Millions of people travel the world just to find Inner Peace.  If that is the case then it is my wish to travel to Tibet, find a monastery in the mountains and then take a vow of silence! Vee, something tells me there is no mystery or secret code to Inner Peace. No special people have been singled out for that favour. The seed of peace resides within us just as the seed of destruction.

Upon his arrival at Robben Island a warder told Nelson Mandela and his compatriots that, “This is the island where you will die.” Mandela said he found, “…. solitary confinement the most forbidding aspect of prison life. There was no end and no beginning; there is only one’s mind which can play tricks.” And yet 27 years later Mandela summed it all up and said, “I  went for a long holiday for 27 years.” We all know that apart from fighting Apartheid, what also makes Mandela iconic is the fact he did not come out of prison a bitter man. He might have been physically constrained but his spiritual and emotional states were free.  He had learnt to cultivate Inner Peace.

Share peace: We all have the power of choice over the type of seed we want to cultivate, be it peace or destruction. We also have to make the deliberate choice to water and feed the seed  before we can share with others . Since no man is an island unto himself, whatever we do will always affect others, positively or negatively. When Inner Peace shines through us, it touches other people and leaves a positive mark.

“If you don’t love yourself, it is impossible for you to love others. You can’t give away what you don’t have.”

Joyce Meyer

Cultivating Pockets Of Inner Peace

It is not everyday that we get to glow with Inner Peace. Hurricane Life can be so challenging and when we feel the threat, we can stay in the eye of peace and calm through:

Gratitude: We should not take everyday mercies for granted. Despite the seemingly disparate situations we find ourselves in, we do have some sparkling moments in our lives. We should also not allow ourselves to be defined by our challenges and even answer to the negative labels assigned to us, else we remain victims. Let us cultivate the attitude of gratitude with every passing moment. When summed up what we have is not little, it is enough from day to day.

“There is a calmness to a live lived in gratitude, a quiet joy” 

Ralph.H. Blum

Solitude: Where the Wild Men Are with Ben Fogle is a documentary series where an adventurer Ben Fogle goes in search of people who have given up their jobs (some very high profile), and all the modcons of Western life to go and set up home in the remotest parts of the world. Vee, I know you and I enjoy watching the series. The idea of getting away from it all and living in solitude really appeals to me. Those amazing individuals must be onto some kind of inner peace we are yet to appreciate.  My sister, I am not saying let’s sell off all our stuff and put the little valuables we have left in our backpacks and then head for the wilderness.  Lets just “Fogle” it by going into the wilderness of our souls!  Inner peace comes with enjoying moments of solitude and not being afraid of being alone.

To find peace, sometimes you have to be willing to lose your connection with people, places and things that create all the noises in your life.

Generosity: Mother Teresa was a nun and missionary who devoted her life to caring for the sick and destitute around the world. Because of her charitable and selfless deeds, she was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. She was also canonized as a saint by the Roman Catholic Church. If this is not one of the biggest acts of generosity, I don’t know what is. Inner Peace comes from wholeheartedly giving whatever it is within our means. We can give support emotionally or spiritually, we can help others realize their dreams, we can volunteer our time, we can give love etc.

“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are”

Harold. S. Kushner

Mind Your Business: My friend who uses abbreviations would call it, “MYB”! Vee, did you know that the paparazzi can go through your garbage just to find any bit of information about your life? It stinks of digging up the dirt on someone,(pun intended). When we pry into other people’s lives we are no different from the paparazzi vultures. At least the paparazzi get paid to do it, what about us? And when we get to know, then what? Does that add value to our lives? Prying into other people’s lives is a reflection the storms raging within us. We may be refusing to face or deal with problems in our lives. We also pry in order to draw comparisons and then we become envious, bitter or vain. Sometimes we do it in order to destroy or eliminate our targets, through gossip and slander. Hurricane Paparazzi!

Two old ladies were seated side by side as they attended a church service. The preacher was reading from the book Luke, Chapter 13 verse 28 which goes, “There shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth when you shall see Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and all the prophets……..” . The ladies gave each other toothless grins and said, “Thith doesnth conthen uth” (This doesn’t concern us). My sister, other people’s business should not concern us. And when it stops being our business the more peaceful our lives become.

My sister, there is so much I would have wanted to share but let me leave you with these nuggets for you to ruminate on. They say less is more, hopefully so.  I am also sure that mine is not the first nor will it be the last article you will read on Inner Peace. We all keep searching somehow, it’s human nature. Will we ever touch it in its fullness? I do not know, but I will keep searching.

“I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed for me” 

Philippians 3:12 NLT

Take care my beloved  sister.

Much Love,

Jesi.