I stumbled upon the poem, “Desiderata”  when I was in High School. It was in a bookshop and I was looking for books. I noticed a beautiful plaque with a poem on it and when I read it, the message touched me in a way I could never forget. I could not afford to buy the plaque then but a few years later I scoured bookshops in search of the poem. With luck on my side I found one and bought it. For 20 plus years, the plaque has always hung on my bedroom wall. I make it a point read it as often as possible just to get myself anchored. It is a kind of wisdom that has stood the test of time.

Desiderata, translated as “things desired” is a  prose poem believed to have been written by Max Ehrmann in the 1920s. It is such a powerful poem whose message leaves you in awe and humbled at the same time. With the passage of time when I get to read it, the message always acquires a new meaning. Almost a century later,it is still as relevant today and such is the reason why I have decided to revisit it.

Silence speaks

“Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.”

This calls for us to be still in the face of what may seemingly be chaos so that we do not escalate the situation. Take for instance the Coronavirus outbreak, the information and misinformation resulted in panic and pandemonium. The reaction of the media and the response of those in authority did not help the situation. It almost took apocalyptic proportions as there was so much “noise and haste ”. While infection rates spiked, death rates soared. Then came a point when the whole world was forced to come to a standstill.

In the stillness we have had to do some serious reckoning. The book, “Stillness Speaks” by Eckhart Tolle talks about the value of silence and stillness. He writes, “Whenever there is some silence around you, listen to it”.  

Be humble

“Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.”

So many times we are found guilty of failing to listen. We simply listen to words and not the process. We are quick to give solutions, unsolicited advice, lectures and admonitions leaving the next person feeling unheard, patronised and small. When we also tell ourselves that we are better than the other person, there is nothing of value that they can come out their mouths. We listen, but with filters. And yet, each person is the expert of their own life, it does not matter their station in life. If we humble ourselves enough, open our minds more than our ears and show respect, there is so much we can learn from just anyone. Be careful of missing out on learning!

Your mental health matters

“Avoid loud and aggressive people, they are vexations to the spirit.”

They say, choose to spend time with people who are good for your mental health. As we grow older our social circles become smaller and smaller. We become sure of ourselves and clearer about what we want in life, therefore we begin to choose quality over quantity. You want to be in the company of people that respect you and make you feel worthy. Loud and aggressive people always want to have their way or no way and they ride roughshod over others’ feelings. They do not care about the consequences of their actions. They bring a lot of toxicity with them.

While we might not be able to completely cut off relationships and while some toxic people may not have the capacity to change, for the sake of our mental health we can choose to distance ourselves socially. Insensitive as it sounds, in wildlife conservation animals are culled when their number exceeds the environment’s carrying capacity. When it comes to self conservation we also need to protect our emotional environment.

Run your own race

“If you compare yourself with others, you may become bitter; always there will be greater or lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.”

In William Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, the character Malvolio believes some people, “….. are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them” (Act II Scene 5). Our paths in life will always be different, even when we all start on an equal footing. In most instances we will never truly know what the next person has had to go through to be where they are. Interestingly greatness is relative, and if we are not careful we might be running the wrong race. Gratitude should be our starting point. That is being grateful for what we have achieved so far and knowing that as long there is a tomorrow, there lies another chance for us to do better than we did today.  

Love what you are doing

“Keep interested in your own career, however humble ; it is areal possession in the changing fortunes of time.” 

The Coronavirus pandemic has taught us a great lesson, that every profession is important. Economies have been so shaken by the pandemic and millions of people have lost their jobs. Losing your job or livelihood at a time like this will make you realise how valuable it is. This reminds me of an old American comedy series called Roc. Charles Dutton plays the character of Roc who works as a garbage collector. His is a humble job that some people would frown upon but Roc is very proud of it and is such a hard worker. I bet Roc would be crushed if he were to his job.

With the Coronavirus pandemic, we now know who the most valuable players (MVPs) are. It is not the celebrities nor the famous soccer players but health workers, the doctors and nurses  who have remained dedicated to their jobs and are bravely fighting the virus on the frontline.

Keep it real

“Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is a perennial as the grass.”

Did you know that dogs can sense not smell (that is what I used to believe), when a person is nervous, anxious or afraid? That is when you become easy meat (pun intended). It is the body language that betrays us because it is a very powerful tool in communication. Body language is generally instinctual, you can not fake it. As humans we are more advanced at reading body language than other animals. Our pretences can easily or quickly be detected by other people, just when we might think we deserve Oscars. You can fool some but not all. That being said, it’s less work and more freeing to be your authentic self than to act for the gallery.

“It’s not your job to be likeable. It’s your job to be yourself”(Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie).

With maturity comes wisdom or does it?

“Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.”

I always tell my friends that if someone is below 40 years of age and is still getting excitable about things, I will cut them some slack. They are still growing up. Beyond that, a certain calmness that comes with maturity is expected to set in. I once read, “Once you hit a certain age you become permanently unimpressed by a lot of stuff”. I totally agree.

Be gentle with yourself

“Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself”

The Coronavirus pandemic is a sudden misfortune to human nature. It is a life threatening virus and we have to do necessary due diligence to protect ourselves. We also need to remain calm and strong. Excessive fear and panic which in some instances are products of our imagination, are not good for our overall health. They induce stress which in turn weakens our immune system. When our immunity is compromised we become susceptible to infections. When we feel lonely and afraid, let us reach out to the support systems available to us for comfort and reassurance. When it comes to information on Coronavirus, it is best to rely on authenticated sources because the social media can be misleading. That way we are being kind to ourselves.

You are worthy

“You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should”

Did you know that fingerprints are unique? In a world where the human population is around 7.8 billion, no one has the exact same set of prints as you have on your fingers so experts say. Not even identical twins have the same fingerprints. Isn’t that wondrous?

And yet you feel unworthy, you doubt yourself and your capabilities. You even allow other people to make you feel small. You feel so insignificant and believe that you have nothing to offer to the world. Well, if you can leave your fingerprints on everything you touch, then you can make a positive impact in your own unique way. It may not change the world but it will surely touch someone’s life. Therefore you are here for a reason! Yes, there are may things in life that are beyond our comprehension but we should not be afraid of living with a purpose.

Be at peace with God

“Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labours and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul”

Engaging in a tug-of- war with life has a way of leaving us drained and in some instances bitter. This is because there are things in life that we no control over. The moment we choose to surrender and allow God to be in control, we begin experience peace and calm.

 Eckhart Tolle in “Stillness Speak”s writes, “Surrender becomes much easier when you realise the fleeting nature of all experiences and that the world cannot give you anything of lasting value…… you no longer demand that a situation, person,place or event should satisfy you or make you happy.”

Happiness as desired

“ Be careful. Strive to be happy”

The poem concludes by advising us to be careful. By being careful we are protecting ourselves and others even. Exercising caution is also a mark discipline. “True freedom is impossible without a mind made free by discipline” (Mortimer.J. Adler). With true freedom comes happiness.

In the final analysis, I hope and pray that we will able to get the desires of our hearts.